Responding to Hurt
The last few years we have learned that being hurt is standard equipment in life. You cannot go very far in life or at least very deep in a relationship without experiencing hurt feelings of one sort or another. Two key passages of scripture that will help you deal with this issue God's way are Hebrews 12:15 and Matthew 18:15-35.
In the first passage God warns the believer about the "root" of bitterness. By using the image of the root, God teaches us several practical truths that will benefit us in our walk with God and with man. First, roots have to be planted. This happens by getting hurt by someone, when they say or do something that we perceive was hurtful or damaging to us leading to holding a grudge. It can happen in family, on a church committee, through a hearsay comment or even expectations that were not fulfilled. The culprit may not even know that he has hurt you. Instead of facing the matter head on we bury it in our hearts and a root of bitterness begins to grow. Secondly roots will not continue to grow unless they are cultivated. It requires attention and fuel. Deep down we enjoy feeding our egos and cultivating this poison inside our hearts. Outwardly we appear as though all is well, while the inside rots away and we live in prison with our thought life. Third, hidden roots do not stay hidden very long. There will come a day when this root will spring up and affect others.
Others will be well aware that something is drastically wrong as they hear the venom spew out of your mouth and see actions that are obviously unbecoming to a child of God.
This root of bitterness must be dealt with or it will grow to proportions that are too overwhelming to deal with. It must be dealt with drastically. The ax must strike a death blow to the base of the tree. It will do no good to break off the sick branches or pluck off the dead leaves, it is now time to hit this monster once and for all. This kind of spiritual surgery is never easy or pleasant, but it is nasty and necessary.
The second passage mentioned (Mt.18) gives the most practical guidelines in the entire Word of God. It states that when these hurt feeling occur or when this grudge begins I must go - individually, by my self, without talking to anyone else- to that individual and discuss the problem. In our way of thinking and what I have observed over the years, we do any thing except this. We will go to as many people as will listen and talk about the person and what they have done. We have no problem finding takers, because the sinful heart loves gossip and slander. My sinful heart loves and thrives on juicy gossip that tears down the kingdom and maligns the cause of Jesus to the lost world and backslidden believers. Beginning in verse 25 of that same chapter we are told a parable about a rich man who forgave one of his servants an enormous debt. This debt was so huge that it was virtually impossible to ever repay in ten life spans. The servant in return would not forgive a small debt of one of his fellow servants. This whole parable is comparing the love and forgiveness of our heavenly Father, and the debt that he has removed from our account to our forgiving others in the same way.
The best approach is to keep the root from getting started in the first place. How do we keep roots of bitterness out of our hearts? Matthew 18:15-20 instructs us to live at peace with our brothers, cultivate holiness of life and do all this by the grace of God. It is foolish to waste time and energy cultivating roots of bitterness when we could be cultivating the fruit of the Spirit. The harvest of the Spirit is so much better than the harvest of the root of bitterness.
Practically.... Is there someone or a group that has offended you ? Brothers and sisters the Spirit will embrace this message. He will bring individuals names to your remembrance that you must go to.
We know that many who read this will be moved in their spirit to deal with some very difficult people. We will be praying for you as you obey and find the presence of God's Holy Spirit again active and responsive in your life. Please drop us a note to tell us of the release and joy you have rediscovered. Praise the Lord!
